


What You Can't Repair

by KDblack



Series: KakaVege Week 2021 [2]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Gen, M/M, Self-Hatred, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Vegeta is Bad at Feelings (Dragon Ball), everything is Goku's fault, internalized ableism, kakavegeweek2021, this isn't half as angsty as it sounds i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 22:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30062334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDblack/pseuds/KDblack
Summary: It’s not like Vegeta doesn’t know that there’s something wrong with him. How could he miss all the sharp edges rattling around in his head? He’s the one who needs to think with a brain constantly on the verge of meltdown. He’d have to be pretty stupid to miss it – which he isn’t, a stupid man wouldn’t have survived the Frieza Force – he just can’t make himself say it out loud.(Kakavege Week 2021 - Day 2: Therapist/Therapy)
Relationships: Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Series: KakaVege Week 2021 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2209920
Comments: 12
Kudos: 22
Collections: Kakavege Week





	What You Can't Repair

It’s not like Vegeta doesn’t know that there’s something wrong with him. How could he miss all the sharp edges rattling around in his head? He’s the one who needs to think with a brain constantly on the verge of meltdown. He’d have to be pretty stupid to miss it – which he isn’t, a stupid man wouldn’t have survived the Frieza Force – he just can’t make himself say it out loud. 

Trauma. Ha. What a disgusting word. It implies weakness, and Vegeta cannot be weak. The weak don’t survive, either, and Vegeta has always clung to life with grim determination. He buries the uncertainty and fear under layer upon layer of pride. 

Better to keep smirking and mock anyone who shows concern. It’s never genuine. There is no trust in the Frieza Force.

Most of Bulma and Kakarot’s little team will never trust him, to which he can only think, _good, some of you have sense._

He’s never tried to keep his monstrosity a secret. He’s only ever tried to hide his own self-awareness. It’s getting harder as the years pass. Definitely not because of Bulma, who spends about the same amount of time self-reflecting as he does and enjoys it even less. No, if he’s finding it harder to put on the mask of a good soldier, a proud warrior, the prince he should’ve been, it’s all on Kakarot’s broad shoulders.

The worst part is that Kakarot is doing it on purpose. He has to be. There’s no way anyone could spend so much time testing Vegeta’s boundaries and then dancing away just as he’s about to lash out by accident. Big hands lingering on his shoulders a little longer after each spar. A bright voice calling out to him no matter how many times he orders it to shut up. When he wakes in the night, stiff with terror, Kakarot’s smile is what eases him back into a semblance of calm.

Ridiculous. Unnecessary. Offensive. He’s never needed anyone to be kind to him. Anything he’s ever needed, he’s taken. But Kakarot keeps beating him to the punch, and that–

He doesn’t dislike it. That in itself is hateful.

“I’m not a broken scouter,” he snaps finally. “You can’t fix me, Kakarot.”

Kakarot smiles, teeth bared, even as his eyes crinkle kindly. It’s a fixed, rigid thing, that grin, equal parts challenge and desperate. “Who said I wanted to fix ya? I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

Vegeta laughs, short and sharp. “What’s this supposed to be, then?”

“Dunno that either. Just... seemed right.”

“Well, aren’t you useless today.”

“Guess so.” For a moment, Kakarot lowers his gaze, and he almost looks lost. “Wish we could just be broken together.”

It comes out so quietly that Vegeta can justify pretending he didn’t hear it. So he does. And if he moves a bit closer to Kakarot afterward, it’s only for Kakarot’s sake.


End file.
